5 For Secrets, Never to be Told
by Maixcell.xv
Summary: Five Things the Guys Learned About Logan and the One Thing They've Always Known
1. Secret Number One

Disclaimer: I don't own Big Time Rush, but I do sure love them

Author's Note: It's been a long time since I've posted something here, something anywhere, and I'm sorry. You would've believe the life I'm having right now.

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><p>Five Things the Guys Learned About Logan<p>

and the One Thing They've Always Known

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><p>1. He can play the piano<p>

James ran his lucky comb through his hair one more time, just _sitting _behind Jenny Tinkler in chorus class was enough for his hair to stand on end. And standing on end wad _not _good! It was the total opposite of good...in fact it was bad, very bad!

"Dude," Carlos laughed. "Relax, your hair looks fine."

"'Fine?'" He hissed. "Fine is not fine!"

Logan rolled his eyes and put a hand on his shoulder. "James, your hair looks _perfect_. If you brush it anymore and we'll have to come up with a completely new word to describe how amazing it is." He was half truthful, half sarcastic.

The taller teen gave him a bright smile. "Thanks Logie," he said sincerely.

He flushed, his ears turning pink, and rubbed the back of his neck. It wasn't that much of a big deal. "No problem," he muttered.

Mrs. K clapped her hands, interrupting their conversation before it could go any go anywhere else. "Okay people. Today is the day. The day were some of us are going to show off our music skills that don't have to do with singing. You ready?"

The class did a harmonized note, the equivalent to "yes" on this class. No matter how much James liked singing this always made him feel idiotic.

She nodded and smiled proudly. There was a point when James was the only one who ever did anything, whether he felt like an idiot or not. "First up we have Kendall Knight, who should be back real soon from getting his guitar."

"I was wondering where he was," Carlos mused.

Logan faced palmed and James sighed in exasperation, but they were use to the younger teen not paying attention to his surroundings.

"It's okay Carlitos." James patted his shoulders. "We still love you."

"Yay!" He cheered jokingly.

"Boys!"

Logan gave her a sheepish smile. "Sorry Mrs. K." Always the polite one.

She shook her head with a smile at their actions, glad they were still the same crazy boys and that high school hadn't changed them. The four (plus Kendall) of them were a legend around this town ever since Logan moved here in the third grade. Even though she was a high school teacher many conversations at the district wide teachers' conference was about them, horror stories and praises.

Kendall chose that moment to walk in, acoustic guitar in hand. He flashed a smile at his friends and took a seat on the piano bench.

"Give it up for Kendall Knight!:

The blond started playing "Edge of Desire," hitting every note perfectly. He started humming the words quietly and he knew the guys were singing under their breath. It was one of their favorite songs and Kendall had played it over and over again for the past week.

When he finished with a little improve flourish of he own the whole class clapped wildly. They all know Kendall played bu they also know he didn't like playing in front of people.

"That was amazing, Kendall!" Mrs. K gushed.

Kendall blushed and set his instrument down before heading up to his seat. He sat down and was immediately bombarded with compliments.

"Thanks guys."

Logan laughed. "You deserve it. That was awesome!"

They fell silent when a couple more people came up with a violin, a harmonica, and a cello respectively. Mrs. K almost has a heart attack when Jenny offered to play the trombone, but the guys managed to convince her not to.

"Thank God," James breathed out in relief. His friends grinned at his reaction, secretly think the same thing.

Mrs. K wiped her brow then pulled the cover up off the piano keys. "Okay, out last performer for the day is Logan Mitchell on the piano."

Three out of four of the guys frozen in shock, eyes widening. A single thought entered their minds..._What?_

Logan refused to make eye contact with them, opting for looking straight ahead as he walked down to the piano. He took an uncomfortable seat at the piano bench, feeling twenty or so stares on the back of his head.

The guys were in shock (as stated before). They didn't know Logan know how to play the piano, why didn't he tell them? Kendall felt a little hurt, Logan and him told each other everything. Why not this little detail?

Soft music filled the room, it was sad but there was a little bit of hope behind it. Everyone held their breathe and felt their hearts break, it was so beautiful and so sad.

Logan ended the song , letting the notes fade hauntingly with the press of a pedal. He sighed and let his hand slip in his lap, eyes falling close. Loud clapping jerked him back to the present. He turned around in surprise and saw the whole class clapping louder than ever, even louder than for Kendall.

A deep blush rose to his face. "Th-Thanks," he stuttered.

"That was beautiful, Logan," Mrs. K said, eyes shining. "How long have you been playing?"

He shrugged. "A few years. Since I was seven, I think."

"That long?" Carlos exclaimed. "How come you never told us?"

He shrugged again. "It wasn't that important."

Kendall walked down the risers and swung an arm around the smaller boy. "We could've started a band! James as lead singer, Carlos on drums, me on bass, and you on the keyboards. We could've made it big time!"

Logan ducked his head. "Sorry," he murmured.

"Don't be sorry!" James bounded down. "We can always start now!" He did a popstar pose. "My garage, 2:30. I bet I can wrangle up a keyboard." It was no secret James has a tone of bend equipment he never used, most of it as gifts from his father.

"'Wrangled?'" Kendall raised an eyebrow (they're not that busy!). "That's something I'd expect Logan to say, he's the cowboy."

"I am _not _a cowboy!" Logan growled.

The guys laughed and James went on and on about their new "band".

Turns out, thought, they ended only having one practice, because the next night Gustavo Rocque came to Minnesota to find his "fire".


	2. Secret Number Two

Disclaimer: I don't own Big Time Rush, but I sure do love them.

I should really be writing my Lab-Write up for AP Biology...but I'm not...I love CREATIVE Writing! Can't stop me! Muhahahahaha!

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><p>Five Things the Guys Learned About Logan<p>

And the One Thing They've Always Known

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><p>2. He was tested to skip a grade...<p>

Kendall felt the glare before he saw it. Looking up from his stupid Geometry worksheet he finally saw Miss. Collins glaring with surprising hatred.

Now, glaring at anyone from Big Time Rush wasn't surprising in itself. It was just the fact that Kendall knew he and the guys haven't done anything lately that would warrant such a blazing look and the fact that she wasn't glaring at _him_, nor was she glaring at James or Carlos.

She was glaring at _Logan_.

Logan: the goody-two shoes most of the time and never did anything wrong on his own, usually the guys dragged him in the plans and he really had no choice but to join in.

What did he do?

He could only watch as Logan finished his worksheet so much quicker than everyone else (stupid genius...which is an oxymoron people. He actually listens to his friend once in a while! Who would've thought?) and head up to the front to hand it in.

"Logan," he heard Miss. Collins say at a stage whisper. "Can I talk to you outside please?"

His friend bit his lip but nodded, following her out there without a second glance back at the curious class. The door closed quietly, but it sounded like a gunshot to the three left behind.

Kendall got up first, James coming second and pulling Carlos along. No one else moved, some glancing towards the door curiously while others just didn't care. Some of them just didn't know the boys very well, no matter how small the class was.

They crowded near the door, listening through the thin wood.

"Logan, I heard what you did, and I have to say I'm not happy," Miss. Collins said.

There was a huff. "Well it doesn't matter whether you're happy or not. My happiness matters, not yours," he sniped back.

Carlos gasped at the back talk. "Since when does Logan talk back to teachers?" He asked at a whisper. Two shrugs were his only answer.

"I understand that." Miss. Collins wasn't rising to the bait and keeping her voice level. "But can you imagine this would do for your happiness in the future? You could get into so many better colleges!"

"That doesn't work minus my best friends," Logan countered hotly.

Carlos looked at the taller two, eyes wide and scared.

"What does he mean by that?" James hissed, eyes also wide. "Why would we be minus-ed?"

"Do you really want to put your doctor future on hold for them?" Miss. Collins snapped back. "It'll only be one year! Yes, sure, you'll end up going to a different college, different year, but—."

Logan cut her off. "I plan on staying with my friends for this year and senior year and possibly under-grad. There's nothing you can say that can stop me."

"You could graduate early!"

Carlos choked and stumbled back, James just barely catching him. "Skipping a grade? Would he really do that?"

Kendall shook his head. "No, of course not." In reality, he had no idea. "I mean, he's saying no now." _But will he always?_

"I'm not graduating early! Stop bothering me about it!"

The guys quickly scrambled back to their desks as the door opened and Logan shuffled in, not looking as angry as they were expecting him to look, but still looking a bit ticked. He was biting his bottom lip and rubbing the back of his neck, sure signs something was bothering him and he was thinking very hard about it.

He ignored every written note they threw him, every in-class text they sent him, and every whisper they asked him. Logan just stayed hunched over yet more work Miss. Collins was dishing out.

Kendall couldn't help think that Logan might change his mind about the graduating early thing. Now the only question really was: Would the boys let him go willingly or make him stay?

James stared aimlessly at the television, rolling an apple in hand. His hair was wet and still dripping down his shirt. Carlos was upside down on the orange couch and Kendall was pacing.

"Do you think he should?" James asked, surprising himself and the other two.

He's been thinking about it for a while. And he decided that Logan should probably graduate early. Imagine what that could do for his life!...Sure that would mean no more Big Time Rush (since none of them would want to continue with only three members), but James' dream to be famous was pitiful compared to Logan's dream to become a successful doctor. So many lives would be saved, there was no doubt.

Carlos shot up from his spot. "What? Of course not! He should stay here!"

"But why?" James countered, feeling more logical than he's ever felt. "This is my dream, not his. And he wants to be a doctor. A _doctor_! Imagine how many people would be healed if we let him go."

"But...but he's our friend," Carlos countered, holding on to the fact that because Logan was their friend meant that he couldn't leave them.

"That's not good enough."

Kendall stopped in the middle of the room, brows furrowed. "I agree with both of you." He had nothing else to say, for once Kendall Knight has no pep speech.

The front door was kicked open to reveal Logan struggling with several bags. "A little help here?"

All three of them rushed to grab the bags, almost dropping a few of them. They wrangled them to the counter and set them down carefully.

"Next time," Logan panted. "We're going grocery shopping together, whether you like it or not."

Carlos saluted mockingly, a giant smile on his face. "Yes Mama Mitchell."

He slapped his friend upside the head, only hitting the helmet, and started putting things away. The guys started helping him, too busy in their minds and watching their friend to joke around like they normally do.

"Okay," Logan finally said. "What's up with you guys? You're _never _quiet."

James and Carlos turned expectant eyes on Kendall, who sighed and quickly put away the cereal he was holding and faced his smart friend.

"We overheard you and Miss. Collins talking," he admitted. "About how you could skip a grade."

Logan frowned. "You...you did?"

He nodded. "And...we kind of came to an agreement." He glanced at the other two and smiled slightly when he saw their tiny nods. "We think that you should."

"What?" His eyes were wide in disbelief. "Why?"

"Because it's what you want, right?" James cut in. "I mean, you told Miss. Collins no, but skipping a grade could mean getting into a good medical school _early_. You could be doctor sooner! You've always wanted to be a doctor!"

"Well, yeah..." Logan looked at them all, confused. "But that would mean I'd leave you guys, I would leave Big Time Rush."

Carlos shook his head. "If it's for something you've wanted to do since you were little I think we can deal with only three members."

"Logan," Kendall said firmly. "What our dreams were before this are more important than what's happening now. We can't give up on what we love because of what's happening now. Your dream is good and you could get to it early. Why are you questioning us?"

Logan burst out laughing, successfully confusing his friends. "Your reasoning makes _no _sense," he choked out, wiping tears from his eyes. He took a deep breath to calm himself and smiled softly. "It's sweet that you guys are letting me go, but, while I still kind of want to be, my doctor dream is down the toilet."

"Why?" James demanded.

He shrugged. "I'm not really sure, but I'm enjoying our band. I kind of don't want it to stop." He put his hands on his hips. "And I don't want to have to miss you guys." He held out a hand to stop them from protesting. "Yeah, yeah, you'll call me everyday. I know, but it won't be the same. Guys, let me enjoy this. We only have five and a half years of solid time together, do you really want to get rid of me?"

"No!" Carlos tackled him in a hug and squeezed the life out of him.

Kendall chuckled. "Who know the mere thought of you skipping a grade would create so much angst and junk?"

"Proves how much you guys love me!" Logan said cheekily.

James smirked. "Just don't scare us like that again."

"Won't, promise."


	3. Secret Number Three

Disclaimer: I don't own Big Time Rush, but I sure so love them

If people are confused, this takes place before Secret 1 and Secret 2 and is in the same cont. as the other two. My excuse as to why Logan said mom in Secret 2 is because he hates it when people give him that pitying look and he hates having to explain everything. And, to help with Secret 2, they live an hour away and Logan commutes so he didn't have to switch schools.

Oh, and think about that last line. Kind of ironic considering this is the first secret (technically), huh? Haha

And the next one should be more humorous. I'll try not to add the angst in (it's gonna be hard considering who I am, right?).

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><p>Five Things the Guys Learned About Logan<p>

and the One Thing They've Always Known

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><p>3. His dad is an abusive asshole<p>

He stumbled out of the house, screams and yells echoing behind him as the wind began to pick up and blow across his bare arms. His head ached and his back throbbed and he was pretty sure his wrist was sprained, but not broken.

Thank God for the little things.

Tears welled up, stinging his eyes, as a fleck of white drifted from the sky. Thousands of snowflakes followed close behind and he wasn't even halfway down the street when the road was already covered in a thin layer of the frozen rain.

Lights from the houses around him reflected off the semi-black surface of the road, families having a grand ol' time. And, even though he shouldn't, he resented them a little for their joy. What did he do to deserve getting kicked out of the house on the night before Christmas Eve? What did he do to deserve to get another beat down courtesy of his father?

He hugged himself to get him self warmer. Normally he would go to a friend's house. Kendall's, probably, because it was closer. But James' had the luxury of being an only child without the chaos of a younger sibling. He wouldn't think of going to Carlos' house, they already had too much to worry about.

Plus, he didn't want to impose on their families on this happy holiday. It was all about family, just like Thanksgiving.

Logan's stomach growled angrily, so he turned his thoughts away from mounts of food and from the fact he hadn't eating something since last night. He made towards the pond two streets down, maybe he'd find comfort in the familiar place.

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><p>James sighed and stared out the window into the snowy outside world. His parents were behind him, arguing again. Over what? Which way to face the tree. The funny thing was that he and his father weren't even Christen, but they want to make his mom happy.<p>

Yeah, that was going over real well.

It didn't make any sense. He figured after the fiasco of a Thanksgiving they would give at least _one_ holiday a break.

No dice.

He sighed again and grabbed his jacket. "I'm heading out for a little. I'll be back soon."

Either they didn't hear him or they did but didn't care, he was leaving anyway. He headed out the door, pulling out his phone as he shivered when the wind blew.

He dialed Kendall's number and only had to wait half a ring before picked up.

"Yellow?"

He chuckled. "Hey, Kendall. I was wonderin' if you wanted to give Carlos a call and meet me at the pond before the snow gets really bad?"

There was shout and something rustling before answered. "Yeah. You gonna call Logan?"

"Yep, see ya there?"

"Of course."

He hung up with the other teen and pulled up Logan's number. It rang...and rang...and rang...

_"Hey, you've reached Logan Mitchell. Sorry I couldn't come to the phone, but if you leave your name and number I'll give you a call back as soon as I can."_

He let out a squeak of laughter at Logan's official, cliché voice mail, before he stifled it and frowned in worry. Logan _always _answered his phone, and if he couldn't he answered then immediately hung up. They usually got the message.

But he tried again, something didn't feel right. All he got was the voice mail again. And then again. Maybe Logan was already there, he did have a sixth sense for stuff like this.

James shoved his phone and hands into his pockets, then made his way to the pond two blocks down. The small pool of water was their meeting spot, whenever they needed to get away from the real world for a while. It was secluded, but semi-easy to find. They found it just months after Logan appeared in the third grade and have been using it ever since.

He stopped at the edge of the clearing and stretched, immediately regretting it when cold air blew across the stripe of bare stomach. Okay, he wasn't do that again.

The wind blew harder as he walked over to the shadowed pond, branches reached over the black waters to make a nice overhang that left a little space between the trunk and the water.

James paused when a flash of white caught his eye under the tree. Hazel eyes widened when he recognized who it was. "_Logan?_"

The younger teen jumped from his curled position in surprise, bringing his left wrist under his eyes like he was wiping away tears. "Hey James. What's up?"

"'What's up?'" He repeated in disbelief. "Logie, what are you doing out here?"

He blushed slightly at the nickname, but not as much as he normally did. "Uh, just hanging out?" He sounded unsure, dazed and confused.

James shrugged off his jacket, feeling the cold through his sweater but Logan looked like he was half-frozen. He wrapped it around his friend and pulled him into a warming hug. "Dude, why are you wearing short sleeves in the middle of winter in _Minnesota?"_

"Huh," he murmured. "I guess I forgot my jacket."

"What's with you?" The older teen pulled him away to see him better. He gasped at the sight of the bruises clinging to his left cheek and right eyebrow; his lips was split in two different places, making blood run down his chin; his white shirt wasn't white in some places, it was stained red. "What happened?"

Logan shrugged. "I...I ran...um." He looked around wildly, trying to come up with _something_.

"No. Don't you dare come up with a lie." James took his thin shoulders in a light grip. "Logan, who did this to you?"

He shook his head. "N-No one. No one did anything to me."

"James! Logan!" Carlos ran up to his friends, a huge smile on his face that faded when he got a good look at the pale teen. "What happened?"

"I was just about to find out." James said firmly, stating something that he actually wasn't sure was going to happen.

Kendall ran a critical eye over the younger boy, taking in everything. "So? Logan, what happened?"

Logan didn't answer just looked at them in fear. He backed away from his friends, his back hitting the tree. He yelped and fell forward, catching himself on his injured wrist. Pain spiked from his wrist and up his arm, he curled around it and tried not to cry as fire coursed through his veins.

All three of them rushed to his side. Kendall tried to uncurl him, but it did no good.

"Logan!" Carlos shrieked. "Logan, are you okay? Say something!"

He could just whimper, white hot pain clouding his mind. He probably said something along the lines of "It _hurts_." But his vision fuzzed a little so he focused on that for the moment.

Kendall watched his friend struggled, trying to figure out what could have possible happened to him. He couldn't think of bullies. The only few people who actually got to Logan were on vacation, so it couldn't be them. The only one he could think of was...no...it couldn't. Could it?

"Logan," he said. "Was it...was it your _dad_?"

The pale teen suddenly paused, freezing in fear. "What," he choked out, "What makes you think that?"

James gave a look and Carlos stared at him with wide eyes.

But he ignored those two for now, only paying attention to his injured friend. "He's the only one I could think of. But, Logan, is your dad—?"

"Don't say it!" Logan shouted, he pulled uninjured hand to cover at least one of his ears. "Just don't!"

"Logan, if your dad is...is—" James couldn't say the word. "Then he _has _to be arrested. What he's doing...to you is illegal. It's _wrong_."

"If...I tell you anything." The pale teen took a deep breath, bringing his hand to pull the jacket together in front of his chest. "Not that I'm confirming or denying anything. But if I do. I have no where to go. He's...he's all I have left."

"Don't you have an aunt and uncle who live like an hour away?" Carlos asked hopefully. He laid his hand on his friend's arm as lightly as he could so he wouldn't hurt him. "You...you can stay with them. Or," he looked at the other two, "My dad says that sometimes... abused...victims can stay with family friends. We've been friends long enough, we count as family friends."

Kendall nodded in agreement. "My mom wouldn't mind at all." He noticed the pale boy shiver harshly. "In fact, let's get you to my place right now. You're gonna freeze to death." Fully intending on calling the police when they got there.

The calm Logan felt wash over him at his friends caring about him suddenly disappeared. "No!" He shouted, startling them all including himself. "No, I know exactly what you want to do!" He backed up again, making sure this time he didn't hit the tree. "You don't know that I'll get to stay with you, or my aunt and uncle. You can't...you can't know that."

"One of thing about life," James said. "Is about not knowing. We have to take the chance. Logan, I'd rather have you living a hour away then living with your dad."

He didn't look up from his sneakers. He wanted to go with them, he really did. But the three of them were the closest thing he had to family, and if he did this not only would he be taken from his blood family but from his real family. He couldn't handle that.

"I don't want to lose you guys," he choked out, hugging himself. Tears burned his eyes and spilled out. "I can't. I just can't."

Carlos pulled him close. "You'll never lose us. We'll always be right here."

"Come on, Logan." Kendall gripped the younger boy's shoulders. "Let's get you home. My mom would love to have you."

"I'm going to tell my parents I'm staying at your place, is that okay?" James asked. There was a wince behind his voice, one Kendall immediately picked up.

The blonde teen gave him a shadow of a smile in sympathy. "Parents fighting again?"

He nodded. "Yeah. I'm sure they wouldn't mind."

"And I'm gonna tell my dad what's going on and meet you there?" Carlos didn't really want to leave Logan, even though he knew he was in good hands. He was worried that something would happen.

"It's no problem."

"Yes it is!" Logan interjected. "You guys are ruining your Christmas and Hanukkah break worrying about me."

Carlos grinned. "We worry 'cause we love you. Deal with it." He started to head to his house, picking up the pace as he got farther away. "I'll see you in a little bit."

"Okay, let's go, Logie." Kendall lifted him as gently as he could, one arm under his legs and the other around his shoulders.

"Kendall!" The pale teen yelled, a blush forming on his face and turning his bruises an even nastier color.

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><p>Officer Garcia was disgusted and horrified as his watched one of his son's best friends whimper as Mrs. Knight pressed a bruise on his stomach too hard. It was decided long ago that a hospital wasn't needed, but now he kind of wished they went. Then Logan could've gotten pain killers instead of having the pain in raw form.<p>

The pale teen fiddled with the brace on his wrist, an old one that use to be Kendall's, as he refused to make eye contact with Officer Garcia and Officer Spencer.

"Logan." Officer Spencer spoke firmly but calmly. "I need you to tell me how long this has been going on. How long has your father been physically abusing you?"

He flinched at the words, James laid a comforting touch on his knee. "Sin-Since my mom died," he whispered.

Carlos gasped. "Oh Logie," he breathed. At the questioning looks his dad and his partner gave him he explained with hurt in his voice. "His mom died when they live in Texas, they moved here right after...in the third grade."

"How did we miss this?" Kendall gripped his hair. How did they? He thought they knew Logan well enough...but if it's been going on since he moved here maybe...It was just a "normal" trait of him, that's why they never noticed.

"I'm sorry," he murmured.

James squeezed his knee, feeling him tense ever so slightly. "There's nothing for you to be sorry about. We should be sorry, for never noticing."

Officer Spencer cleared his throat. "Logan, has you father ever touched you inappropriately?"

They all held their breathes as they waited for the answer. Dread washing over them when he hesitated.

"No." Simultaneous sighs of relief sounded in the room but everything froze again when he continued. "He's tried."

"When?" The officer asked. "Tonight?"

He nodded, his eyes closing tightly. "Ye-Yeah, tonight. I...I fought him off. That-That's why he thr-threw me out." Tears streaked down his face. "I fought back. I did. I really did." He sobbed. "Please believe me."

"Why wouldn't we?" Mama Knight reached over and felt his forehead, giving comfort in a mothering way. "Sweetie?"

"He said," he choked, "He said no one would be-believe me if I told any-anyone."

Carlos brought him into a hug, letting him cry against his chest. He ran his fingers through raven hair, one of the few physical touches Logan allowed. Now, he guess, they knew why.

"We believe you, Logan," Officer Garcia said. He stood up, camera dangling from his hand. "We have enough to bring Mr. Mitchell into custody. After the holidays we'll put in a full investigation. In the mean time, Logan. You can stay with the Knights, Mrs. Knight has already agreed."

He gave her a wobbly smile. "Thanks Mama Knight."

She brushed a few locks from his face with a gentle smile. "You don't need to thank me."

The officers left to go to the Mitchells' place and the house was left in silence. Logan was still buried against Carlos, his tears running less but still going.

"I'm going to let you guys stay down here." Mama Knight started up stairs. "Just call if you need anything."

"Thanks mom!" Kendall called.

The boys were silent for a moment, only broken by Logan's sniffles, as the realization of what happened really sunk in.

"Logie," James whispered, "Why didn't you tell us?"

"I told you, he said no one would believe me." He bunched Carlos' shirt in his free hand. "But you do, right? You believe me?" He looked them with wide eyes, hope pooling in them. It make him look like a kicked puppy you couldn't help but cry for.

"Of course," Carlos soothed. "Of course we do."

"I'm so sorry about not telling you. I know I should've, but...I was just...just so _scared_." A tear rolled down his cheek. "And now I can't help but think, if I had tried harder. Just a little bit harder. I could have kept any of this from happening."

Kendall kneeled down in front of him. "Try harder in what, Logie?"

"In school," he murmured. "At home. In life."

That was surprising. Logan got straight As in his college level classes, he kept his house in pristine condition and he did the food shopping, and he excelled at anything he ever tried, and if he didn't he still had the passion for it.

"Is that another lie your _father_ told you?" James spat the word father. Even though his parents didn't exactly get along they never abused him. His father nor his mother ever touched him in any way that would be harmful. He couldn't imagine what would push a man to do this to his own son.

"I look like her," Logan said quietly. "I look like my mother. He couldn't...he couldn't get over the fact that the car crash we were both in only killed her and not me. I think he wished it was the other way around. I think he wished _I _died instead." He wiped his cheeks and sniffed once. "There are so many things that made him do this. I just wish he didn't."

"Logie, we all wish he didn't." Carlos was still running his fingers through his hair. "But your Aunt May and Uncle Peter, they'll be good. They love you right?"

He nodded. "Yeah. I think they've had their doubts about my d-dad for a while, but I've never..." he swallowed, "I never gave them a chance to investigate those doubts."

Kendall took his uninjured hand. "You know we're here for you. Right? We won't let it get any farther than it already has."

Logan squeezed the larger hand. "I know. I'm sorry it took me so long. I know I didn't end up actually telling anyone and you had to find out like this. But...I'm glad you know now."

He was gathered in a three way hug, gentle so not to hurt him but it held a comfort that Logan couldn't remember ever having before. All thoughts about his father, about his so called family, washed away and left room for his real family.

He was glad they found out, no more secrets.


	4. Secret Number Four

Disclaimer: I don't own Big Time Rush, but I sure do love them.

A bit more humorous than last chapter...or the chapter before that...or the chapter before that...What can I say? I love the angst-y moments!

Messed with time line, fair warning

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><p>Five Things the Guys Learned About Logan<p>

And the One Thing They've Always Known

4. He's a _serious (sirius) _Harry Potter fan.

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><p>"Logan!" He checked the swirly slide, he checked the bathroom, he checked the pool, the rooms, the swirly slide, the lobby...but the genius of the group was nowhere to be seen. Carlos stood in the living room and pouted. "Logan! Where are you?"<p>

"What with all the noise?" James complained, running his comb through his hair and checking himself out in a mirror.

Carlos put his hands on his hips. "I can't find Logan anywhere, he's going to miss the movie."

"Logan's going to miss the movie?" Kendall asked in surprise, coming out of his room. "Our Logan? The same one who's been nerd-ing out since the posters started appearing all over LA?"

"Same."

The blond frowned. "But he loves Harry Potter, why would he miss the midnight premiere of the 6th movie?"

"What are you guys yelling about?" Katie asked, annoyed that her video game time was interrupted by her brothers.

James glanced at her. "We're wondering where Logan is...Have you seen him?" He asked suddenly.

She glanced at him weirdly. "Really? He left, like, a hour ago with Camille." She cracked a smirk. "How did you not notice?"

"Oh no you don't," Kendall warned, wagging a finger at her. "Don't make us feel guilty. He's been disappearing all the time all this week, wouldn't tell us where he was going. So it's not our faults."

"Whatever."

James sighed and checked the clock. "Well, we already have the tickets, we should head out. Who knows, maybe Logan will already be there."

* * *

><p>The line was long, it seemed every Harry Potter fan came hours early and decided to have a nerd fest in the wait line. Most of them were decked out in Harry Potter gear, one guy even had the guts to go all out with a Voldemort set up (he was even missing a nose).<p>

Kendall felt a awkward, they were the only three people not dressed up in their little bundle of fans and it was a little embarrassing. Not because everyone was dressed up and he was embarrassed for them, but because _they_ weren't. They were so out of place.

"I kind of wish I dressed up now," Carlos said, looking around. "Who do you think I could be?"

James shrugged. "I don't know the movies good enough to tell you. Sorry, buddy."

"Darn."

"You look like you could be a Weasley twin," someone said, their brown hair was bushy and wild (was it real?) and she wore robes with a red badge (and other that flashed Head Girl! at them) on them and carried a wand, a stuffed book bag over her shoulder. They were pretty sure the glasses weren't a part of the character though. "Sorry, couldn't help but overhear."

"It's fine," Kendall assured her.

"Hermione!" A girl dressed up in a bleach blond wig with radish earrings, bottle glasses, and a fake wand behind her ear walked up to them. (Her eyebrows were too dark...was it weird that he noticed that?). "Sorry about her." She looked at them. "But she's right. Harry! Get over here! Check this out!"

"What, Luna?" Came an annoyed voice.

Kendall glanced behind him to see... "_Logan_?"

Logan froze, eyes wide behind his dorky glasses. He was in a black robe with a red badge (another one with Captain on it), his hair was messier than usual, he had a lightening bolt scar on his forehead, and a broom stick in one hand. "Guys?"

A blush bloomed on his cheeks.

"Damn it," Luna sighed. "I forgot how you still look like yourself." She smiled brightly at them. "Hey guys."

_"Camille_?"

Logan shook his head. "Twice? Really?" He sighed. "What are you guys doing here?"

"We have tickets, remember?" James said distractedly. "Why are you dressed like that? Are you...are you Harry Potter?"

That blush got deeper. "Maybe."

"Really?"

"It's fun, okay!" He exclaimed, defensive. "Camille and I just wanted to have a little fun!" He rubbed the back of his neck. "I forgot you guys got tickets too," he murmured.

"Harry Potter! We meet again!" That one guy in the really good Voldemort costume appeared out of nowhere.

Logan sighed, his blush flaring darker again before he shook it off and whirled around. "Voldemort!" He yelled. "Stay away from the Muggles!"

"You can do it, Harry!" Luna (_Camille_) cheered.

"Use this spell!" Hermione (_unknown_) sprouted some form gibberish.

The three of them watched in disbelief as Logan (Harry?) shouted the gibberish and Voldemort cried out in over dramatic pain.

"Curse you!" Voldemort wailed, a hand going to cup his eye. "I will get you for this, Harry Potter!" He swooped his black cape around his face like a cheesy B-rated vampire and stalked away. "Mark my words!"

There was silence for a good, full minute.

"Logan," Carlos asked hesitantly...and maybe a little bit in awe. "Are you..._high_?"

"What?" Logan stared at him. "What made you think that?" He glared a the giggling Camille and Hermione and jabbed a thumb in their direction. "Why aren't you asking _them_ if they're _high_? Why does it have to be me?"

James flipped a hand at them. "Camille has an excuse, she's _always_ like this, and the other girl...well, I don't know her so I have nothing to say."

"Hey!"

"I'm okay with you not knowing me..."

Logan put his hands on his hips. "I like Harry Potter, so what if I like to dress up?" He shrugged, a giant smile on his face that made him look younger than seventeen. "It's fun!"

"...How'd you manage to keep this from us?" Kendall asked. Logan _sucked_ at keeping ridiculous secrets.

Who ate the last of the Lucky Charms? Carlos, but Logan's the one who let it spill. Who TP]ed the Palm Woods lobby in bandannas? James, but Logan accidentally told Bitters under extreme duress. And who stuffed ice cream in the lockers at the school before they left Minnesota? Katie _and _Carlos, which Logan confessed to a month after they got to LA.

Tell him a secret about a crush? He'll keep it. Home life not going to well? He won't tell a soul.

Everything else? Good luck keeping that from the rest of the world.

It was ridiculous.

Logan scratched his head. "Honestly, I have no idea." He brightened. "Hey, maybe I'm getting better at keeping secrets?"

"I hope so," James said teasingly. "I'm getting tired of being grounded for you telling Mama Knight our pranks."

"Right, sorry."

"Okay!" An usher yelled. "The moment you've all been waiting for...you may now enter theaters 3 and 2, according to your ticket! Enjoy the movie!"

Logan, Camille, and Hermione grouped around each other and _squealed_ before rushing off. Logan froze and turned around, flushing pink.

"Uh, guys?" He asked.

Kendall waved him on with a grin. "Go ahead. Enjoy the movie as Harry Potter."

He managed a quick thanks before dashing off after the other two girl, the left over band members shuffled behind them with amused smiles on their faces.

"Who knew he was such a Harry Potter dork?" James commented.


	5. Secret Number Five

Disclaimer: I do not own Big Time Rush...but I am hoping to get Elevate for Christmas!

All mistakes in the language department are solely my fault. If you notice anything wrong, let me know and I with fix it right away. Translations are at the end.

The lovely _Ozelot is a Logienator_ did exactly what I asked and pointed out the mistakes. Thank you so much! She apparently got to meet Big Time Rush in Berlin (yes, I creeped on your profile) I am so jealous!

Five Things the Guys Learned about Logan

And the One Thing They've Always Known

* * *

><p>5. He can speak another language fluently.<p>

"Okay...now what?"

Logan face palmed and shoved Carlos towards the new cafe. "Now you enter the cafe and try something new."

Carlos made a face, smiling. "That sounds too hard," he whined.

James groaned and pushed them both into the building before following them, shaking his soaked jacket. "This is not the time to joke, guys. My hair's probably ruined now!"

"Dude, relax," Kendall soothed, almost mockingly. "Your hair looks perfect...as usual."

He turned from panicked to smug in the span of .5 seconds and ran his lucky comb through his hair. "I knew it."

And Logan face palmed again. "I need new friends," he muttered good naturally. He paused as the guys got a table, staring out the rain soaked windows with narrowed eyes. "You've got to be kidding me."

Kendall raised an eyebrow. "What is it Loges?"

He gestured out the window. "Who leaves their kid out in the rain?" He pulled his hood back on and shoved his way outside.

"Logan!" James called, running after him. The other two weren't far behind.

A little blond girl was standing under an awning, all alone and crying. "_Mami! Mami! __Mami, wo bist du?" _

Logan kneeled next to her. "Hey there, what's wrong?"

She stared at him blankly and possibly a little fearfully. She hugged herself, shivering, and backed away a little.

He shook his head, a little smile on his face. "Oops, may bad. _Was ist los?__"_ He asked again.

She eyed him warily and sniffed. "_Ich kann meine Mami nicht finden.__"_

"Logan." Carlos stared at his friend wide-eyed. "What's going on?"

He wasn't the only one completely confused and surprised. Who knew Logan could speak...German? That was German, right?

Logan glanced at his friends, a small smirk on his face. "She can't find her mother."

"We'll help her find them," Kendall said, breaking through his surprise. There was no time to be surprised when there was someone in trouble.

He turned back to the little girl. "_Dann können wir Ihnen helfen, sie zu finden,_" he said, gesturing to the guys and pretty much repeating what Kendall said. "_Wie sieht sie aus?__"_

She giggled, smiling a little. "_Ihr Deutsch klingt komisch__._"

Logan laughed along with her. "_Ich nehme das als eine gute Sache, da kann Ihnen sagen, es ist deutsch.__" _He joked._ "__Ich bin _Logan_. Und du bist?__"_ He then asked, taking off his coat and handing it to the shivering child.

"_Kira_," she said shyly, blushing a little pink as she pulled the article of clothing on. It completely engulfed her, making her look even younger.

They spent half a hour looking for Kira's mother and managed to find the poor woman searching the entire street, sobbing and completely soaked to the bone. She profusely thanked Logan with a jumble of German and mangled English, giving his coat back now that her daughter could get under an umbrella.

Logan only smiled and assured her in German that they were just happy they could find her. Before long they were back in the cafe with coffees in hand...extra large for Logan considering her went without a jacket for quite a while.

"Dude," James exclaimed. "Were you speaking German?"

Logan laughed and leaned back in the booth. "_Was denkt Ihr was Ich gesprochen habe, Spanisch?_"

Kendall wracked his brain. "Something about Spanish?"

He laughed again. "I said, 'what did you think I was speaking? Spanish?'" Logan took a sip of his coffee, humming in pleasure at the warmth that spread through his veins. "God, that's good."

James smirked. "Hazelnut, you're such a dork."

"The fact that you know I like hazelnut coffee makes you a creeper," Logan shot back.

"Back to the exciting news at hand," Carlos piped up. "How do you know German?"

Logan got a thoughtful look on his face and put a finger to his chin. "Because I'm awesome?" He shook his head. "That's not it. I may be awesome, but I'd know Latin or something if I was _that_ awesome...wait, did I just diss myself?"

The other guys laughed hysterically. Carlos choking on his coffee, spewing it everywhere. Thus, proving that Logan did indeed, inadvertently, diss himself.

"No, seriously," Kendall said when he finally caught his breath. "How do you know German?"

"My _oma_ is 100 percent German," he said, shrugging. "She learned a little English 'cause of my _opa _but my whole family pretty much lives off making sure each kid knows German so they can speak to her. Something about being well-rounded."

Kendall said "I didn't know that" at the same time both James and Carlos said "What the heck is a _oma_ and _opa_?"

"In German grandma is _oma _and grandpa is _opa_," he informed them. "And you didn't know because I don't visit her as much anymore. She's my _oma_ on my mom's side."

"Oh," Kendall said quietly. The atmosphere took a turn for the slightly depressing. It's been years since Logan's mom died but he was still sad about it, they seemed very close. "Well...does it help you pick up girls?"

And with that, the mood changed to something much brighter. Carlos and James leaned in eagerly, already formulating ways to fit language classes into their schedules.

Logan smirked smugly. "_Ihr wärt überrascht, was den Mädchen gefällt _" He took a nonchalant sip of his coffee. "Oh hey, the rain's stopped." And he just walked right out of the cafe, leaving his friends behind.

They stared at each other for a moment before they realized something...

* * *

><p>"Logan! <em>What does that mean<em>?"

-Mommy? Mommy! Mommy, where are you?"

-What's wrong?

-I can't find my mommy.

-We'll help you find her. What does she look like?

-Your German sounds funny.

-I'm taking that as a good thing since you can tell it's German. I'm Logan. And you're?

-You would be surprised what the girls fall for. They love foreign men.


	6. Never a Secret

Disclaimer: I do not own Big Time Rush...

This last one was going to be mushy and so sweet it was going to rot your teeth. It was going to be about how they've always known Logan was their brother. But I couldn't get it out. So I went with this...hope it's equally as good.

Gah, ew...don't really like I, but I appreciate the effort I did to make it work. Not trying to sound snobby or anything.

* * *

><p>Five Things the Guys Learned about Logan<p>

And the One Thing They've Always Known

* * *

><p>0. He's the Smart one<p>

_L.A: Big Time Rush Interview_

"Hello, L.A!" She fluffed up her hair cutely and smiled into the camera. "Max Keller here and we've got a special treat for you!" She held a finger to her lips, winking like the fake conspirator she was. "Don't tell them they're on t.v, they think they're here for a little fashion advice." The audience laughed, trained to perfection.

"If anyone need's fashion advice, it's Logan," James announced as he walked from backstage, all swagger and a bright smile on his face.

It all got ruined when Logan shoved him forward, making him stumble but not fall. He stuck his tongue out at the younger teen, making the audience laugh once again. Carlos and Kendall weren't too far behind.

"Everyone! It's Big Time Rush!" Max said two seconds too late, distracted by the charm all four boys naturally gave off. "James, Logan, Carlos, and Kendall!"

This time the audience's clapping and cheers were 100 percent real as the boys took their seat. Carlos showed a lot of excitement when he saw the hot chocolate being offered due to it being a Christmas week special. James was equally excited for the candy canes (who didn't love peppermint?).

"Okay," Max said after twenty-ish minutes of standard interview blocks. "Now that we've gotten the boring stuff over with." Audience laughed. "Time for the pop quiz!"

Who's the prettiest?

Who loves corn dogs?

Who is the leader?

Who's the smart one?

Max laughed when all the guys screamed "Logan!" happily and aforementioned teen blushed. "I take it that's a good thing?" She asked, giggling when they all nodded. "Now tell me. I don't mean to sound snobby. But how does three guys like you end up being friends with a smart one?"

"We prefer the term nerd," Logan piped up, grinning. "And that's a funny story."

"Really funny," James jumped in half-sarcastic. "You see, Logan came in during the third grade..."

* * *

><p><em>Minnesota: 3<em>_rd__ Grade_

The first day of third grade was horrible, but that was _nothing_ compared to the middle of the second month with the novelty of beginning school wore off and everything was just plain boring.

Kendall gave up on his math worksheet and propped his head on his hand. James was actively trying to answer the problem, but was having a hard time with question 2 (Kendall gave up after answering the first on) and Carlos was playing tic-tac-toe by himself without even bothering with the work.

"Everyone, can I have your attention for a moment?" The teacher asked, but it was really more of a demand—a nice demand. "We have a new student joining us. Logan Mitchell from Texas."

The new kid was short, scrawny, and obviously nervous. He was told to sit next to the squirming Kendall. The blond _loved_ meeting new people. Especially people who weren't from Minnesota.

Anyway, Logan was forced to sit next to Kendall, but he didn't really sit next to him. He moved his chair so he was pressed against the side, not even close to Kendall. He wasn't scared, just nervous beyond belief.

"Hi!" Kendall said happily, his squirming turning into shaking. It was like he was an excited puppy.

Logan glanced at him from the corner of his eye. "Hi," he said quietly before moving his gaze back at the worksheet the teacher gave him before he sat down, already on problem five.

"Whoa!" Carlos exclaimed, leaning around his two much larger friends. "How did you do that?"

He fully looked up this time, showing off his chocolate brown doe eyes. "Do what?" He asked, maybe just a little confused.

The small pointed at his paper. "That math. I don't get it."

He grinned and blushed slightly. "I...I can show you?"

"Really?" Carlos' eyes lit up. He dragged his chair over to the other side of the new kid.. "I"m Carlos, you wanna be friends?"

Logan faltered for a moment before he smiled brightly. "Sure."

"You should smile more," James said suddenly. He leaned over both Kendall to peer into the new student's face. "It makes you look better, you have a nice smile."

He backed up a little, startled. "Thank you?"

"I'm Kendall," the blond said, saving his new friend from even more embarrassment. "And this weirdo is James."

James gasped hurtfully. "I'm not a weirdo."

But Logan's and Carlos' smile told him that he was, in fact, a weirdo, and that they didn't really care.

He pouted anyway and shoved his paper in Logan's face. "So how do you do number two?"

* * *

><p><em>LA: Big Time Rush Interview<em>

"Aw!" Everyone in the studio gushed, except the boys.

Logan shoved James for adding the part about his smile and turned to Max. "That's pretty much it. I helped them figure out a prank a couple days later. I manged to keep Carlos from getting killed and James from breaking his face."

James shuddered, hands going to protect his face even though nothing was happening. Break his face? Oh the horror!...Oh wait, he remembered that prank. Maybe it had been a good idea for Logan to do the math instead of Kendall?

Maybe? More like _definitely_ the _greatest_ idea ever!

"You should see him when he does school work," Kendall joked. "It's like you can see the clogs turning in his mind."

Max jumped at that tidbit. "Really? Any more stories about smart Logan? Normally we only see him singing or dancing, what's the grade behind that crooked smile?"

Logan groaned in embarrassment, face flushing pink. He muttered something under his breath and cover his eyes.

The woman smiled brightly. "Yes, I know I'm annoying!" She said brightly, making the audience and three-fourths of BTR laugh. "So...anything?"

"Well," Carlos mused. "There was this one time..."

* * *

><p><em>L.A: Junior Year<em>

"Gah!" Logan threw down his pen and gripped his hair, slamming his elbows on the kitchen table.

Carlos jumped at the sudden noise, hurrying to grab his soda before it fell and ruined all of their work. For once he was actively trying to get a good grade and he didn't want to start over. "What's wrong, Logan?" He asked his friend.

His head popped up in surprise, like he forgot Carlos was there in the first place. James was tanning outside at the pool and Kendall was on a date with Jo. He kind of figured Carlos was looking for a corndog cart to raid. "Sorry," he said, biting his lip and grabbing his pen. "It's nothing."

He rolled his eyes. "Dude, I know it's not nothing. You threw your pen like you want to stab someone's eye out with your ninja skills."

Logan grinned and shook his head. "I"m just getting a mind blank on this paper for English. Like I said, it's nothing. I'll figure it out eventually."

"What's it about?" Carlos asked curiously. I mean, if Logan was having trouble then the subject must be _really_ hard.

He rubbed his temples. "The Death Penalty: Closure, Expenses, and Crime Rates. It has to be at least 8 to 10 pages long, not including the beginning Abstract and the bibliography I have to do."

"Whoa." Carlos whistled. "That's a lot. And isn't it ...controversial?" He asked, a bit unsure that last word was the right one.

Logan smiled at him, letting him know that, yes, he used the right word. "Yeah," he replied. "I regret picking it."

"You picked that?" The Latino asked in disbelief. "Why would you pick that?"

"...I have no idea."

"What would you have picked instead?"

He shrugged. "Book censorship, probably. Miss. Collins tried to talk me out of the death penalty, and now I see why."

Carlos tapped the older teen's notebook. "You've got this, Loganator. You're the smartest person I know."

"I am, aren't I?" He said with a smirk. "Can I run somethings by you?"

"Sure," Carlos agreed, much against his better judgment. He realized that, soon after the words came out of his mouth, now Logan was never going to shut up.

"Okay, how does this sound? _'__The Death Penalty has long been a debate in the world...'_"

Carlos sighed, preparing himself for the long haul by grabbing more soda and sugar, but he sat down without complaining and listened, following along the best that he could. If Logan, the smart one, needed to run things by him then he was perfectly fine with listening to the AP babble.

Now... what the heck did "justifiable" mean?

* * *

><p><em>LA: Big Time Rush Interview<em>

"Okay!" Logan complained. "They get it, I'm the smart one who takes too much school work." He glared at his friends good-naturally. "No more stories."

"Aw, Logan," Max whined. "But they're so cute."

"No more stories," he said even as his face turned red and he did sound sorry about it.

"Aw, Logan!" All the guys whined mockingly, Kendal reaching out to ruffle the teen's hair.

Logan slapped him away, mumbling something about needing new friends.

She glanced at her watch. "We're out of time anyway. Everyone, this was Big. Time. Rush! The Pretty Rush, the Cool Rush, the Wild Rush, and the _Smart Rush!_"


End file.
